Scooter Boy updates and more.

So its been a bit, and work and life have been keeping me busy as per usual. Halloween is my favorite holiday so I was focused on making an adorbs costume and having a good time, but wanted to update.

Chef Boy has been out of town first in NOLA, then NY, then Chicago, he returns tomorrow.
Ginger. Hmmmm, I have to admit I was sort of avoiding a confrontation, and we made plans last weekend for Saturday night, but they got boondoggled after I locked myself out of my apartment, with keys in Sacramento, and had to wait a couple of hours to track down the person with my spare. The next day we made plans which he cancelled due to a friend in town, and then I was swamped all week, and this weekend I was in Sac. So we have plans on Thursday. He has been a bit too clingy, but I noticed he has pulled back a little, but I need to have a conversation letting him know that I am seeing some other people I am a bit more interested in. I felt like a person to person conversation was the better way to address that.

Scooter Boy has proved to be something of a surprise. Physically he is pretty much the opposite of what I go for. I tend to gravitate to the tall, blond, blue eyed type, well tall at a minimum. He is a bit short, dark hair, brown eyes, but so damn sweet and endearing who gives a damn. Last week we had a last minute date, lunch, Randall Museum, hike onto hill to look over the City, and then the best part, a trip to Steward Street mini park slides! I cannot even remember the last time I went down a slide! I had a skirt on which made the endeavor fairly hysterical but it was loads of fun. He dropped me off. Then came over later for drinks and movie. Halloween night he came over for scary movie and fun! Yesterday we took the dogs to Fort Funston and then had linner. He sends me totally amazing emails and is funny and self assured. So yea things are going good.

I am considering taking a break from dating anyone else at this point as I feel like my dance card is a bit full, but at the same time I keep meeting really cool people who at a minimum I hope will stick as friends....

Oh and tune in later for more on the Cuban who has popped up, and db if you are reading he has a friend of yours in common....small, small, world I tell ya!

Chef Boy....Part Deux

So chef boy took a wine making class over the weekend, but we made plans to meet for dim sum. Tuesday was ideal given my crazy work schedule etc....that morning he touched base and I planned on taking the 38 up Geary and meeting him for lunch. A little before I was set to catch the bus he texted and said he had an errand to run so he would pick me up. He arrived and I climbed on the back of his vespa, looking adorable in a skirt and new boots dare I say. We were seeking out a new place next to the regular dim sum place he goes to, and to which I had been upon his suggestion. We got all the way there only to find the place we wanted to try was closed so we just went next door. We had a long and lazy lunch, and then when on our way back he let me keep his hands in his pockets as it was cold. He is a bit of a fast driver, which is a win, makes me hold on tighter. He dropped me at my corner and I was a bit bummed when I just got a kiss, but then he said he would pick me up later for a movie. :)

We made plans to see Its Kind of a Funny Story at the Kabuki. He picked me up and I was prepared for the cold, we jetted off, picked up some chimay to sneak in, and had a lovely time, although the movie was a disappointment. We debated cocktails or a return to my place and opted for my place, which was in a word....AWESOME. :) Alas he is off for a two week trip to New Orleans and New York....but I look forward to his return.

Scooter Boy.

Alas I come to final boy, whom shall be called Scooter boy since I already christened J "Chef boy". Scooter boy is a linguist, copy editor, who is starting a green energy co-op. Yea, no seriously, he speaks 6 languages, can you say hawt? From SF, lives in Bernal, a little younger than me and adorable. He has a dacschund for goodness sake! :) Sent me a message and as always we quickly made plans for lunch on Friday. Yea, I know I am a little crazy with the back to back dating, but I am a busy a lot these days....Met for Chinese and had a great lunch. Then we left and were walking along, I with a cute dress and boots on, he asked if he could give me a ride home. I accepted, and there I was for the second day in a row swinging my leg over the back of a scooter. He did not take me directly home, squee! Had a great time, date ended with kiss, and plans for dinner, which I had to reschedule due to work, boo. :(

Alright, we shall see what this week holds, but given my trips to Sacramento and San Diego I think I might be pretty damn busy for any new dates.

Chef Boy.

Let me preface this post with I have dated more in the three months I have lived in the City then I did in the nearly year before I was single in Sacramento. I am not sure what that says, but I am happy for the change. I have never really dated before, as a serial monogamist it can be somewhat problematic to date...lol. Its been refreshing and fun meeting new people and getting to know them, whether it goes anywhere romantically or not.

So with that enter Chef Boy. I had seen his profile, and he seemed fairly adorable, and indicated he was just looking for new friends. He wrote a lot about cooking, changing careers to focus on being a chef, and generally seemed interesting. I sent him a message about sazerac cocktails....and a conversation ensued. Now I figured yay to new friends. We kept up quite an email exchange beginning in September, but our schedules just never really met up. He moved from NOPA to the Presidio, and then was traveling loads, and well work and life have been keeping me busy. However, finally the planets aligned and we made plans to meet on Thursday.

I had to be in Sacramento fro a deposition, but I wanted to meet him so I figured I could make it work. That day he emailed me so we could figure out what we might do, he suggested either cocktails out, or a sunset walk at Chrissy Field with the dog, and a bottle of laphroaig he had just purchased. That email was my first clue I might not just be meeting up for some casual hang out. I mean seriously sunset walk....the boys here are so much better at the date thing! I made it back to the city by 6:30 which sort of estopped the sunset walk.

I rushed to shower, dropped my Here Sweetie delivery with harpygirl, and walked to meet Chef boy at Rickhouse. I had not been, but he said it could be fun. I got there just a bit late, and he was right there, and well....um....swoon. Tall. Shaggy haired. Glasses. Dressed well. And um generally adorable. He gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek, so further swoon. We ended up having several fun cocktails, one scotch based, one rye based, and one bourbon based. We let the waitress guide us, it was fun. Great conversation. Now I had not had dinner given the rush to meet him nor had he. We walked over to Cafe Claude shared a cheese plate and then another cocktail. He has an adorable brand new shiny black Vespa and we walked back to his scooter. He had mentioned making it an early night because he had a friend coming in from Chicago but when we got back to scooter he did not seem all that intent on going home. Instead, he kind of invited himself over. So we scootered over, San Francisco my friends is already a terribly romantic city, but seeing it on the back of a scooter with a cute boy takes the cake. We got back to my place, which was a shambles (well for me, I realize those who know me will know my shambles is other people's clean) Poured us some scotch and we took Sir Trout out for his evening constitutional. We came back, and well making out started that lasted a long time, and I know I had my scotch glass in hand the whole time....and well one thing led to another, and alas, good sex redeems really bad sex.

At around 4 am! he got dressed and went home, and I promptly feel asleep only to awake at 7 am for work! EEKS!

I realize it is not always wise to sleep with people on a first date, well let's face it its never really wise but it can be fun. And this was. I figured maybe I would hear from him, maybe not, no biggie. Alas that morning he texted and we have plans for dim sum next week...not sure what to make of chef boy though. He seems maybe a little out of my league, very handsome, very well educated, very very successful, maybe a little independently wealthy. I am just rolling with it, and appreciating someone who likes good food, fun cocktails, is smart and charming and seems to like me. YAY....

To follow, one more date, with another scooter boy and I think that will catch us up.

Drummer Boy. Actor Boy. Google Boy.

So between the boys I have seen more than once there have been plenty of one time dates.

First up, drummer boy. Now I should probably be smarter given the 8 year relationship I had with drummer boy part 1, but this guy seemed nice, tall, 39, actually making a living as a musician. He invited me out to Samovar at Yerba Buena Gardens and I accepted. I had never been to Samovar and after a quick online consult it looked like an interesting place. I got dolled up and took the opportunity to walk, as its not terribly far from me. We met, he was all that he appeared to be. We had tea, shared a cheese plate, we walked to BART together, and then never spoke or saw each other again. Nothing wrong just nothing right either ....dating is weird like that, you meet people you can talk to, have stuff in common with, share a little laughter with, but alas just not feeling it.

Next, the same day I met foot boy I had plans to meet actor boy at Elixir in the Mission. He seemed cool, graphic designer for a small magazine, but into acting, and seemed to share my interests in good beer. We met for drinks (what is it with boys in the City only picking places in the Mission...I mean I'm just saying...) We had a good time, laughed a hell of a lot I knew I probably never wanted to see him again, and again we said goodbyes, and I wish him the best. Never heard from him again, so I think the lack of interest was mutual and palpable on both parts.

Finally, there was google boy. A bit younger than me, cute, nice, we had loads in common etc. We exchanged several emails, he invited me to a party at his house as our first meeting (which while it might seem weird won him a few points with me) alas I already had plans, so we made dinner plans at La Trappe in North Beach, so we could sample some awesome belgian beers and share a meal. We met up, he was cute, nice, funny, we had a 4 hour meal, beer session. I offered him a ride home, and when we parted he made sure I had his email and phone number. Next day I emailed him to thank him for dinner (he was the first boy I employed this whole I am not even reaching for my wallet thing with given he asked me out....) and to send a link to a website about how to make something we had discussed. We exchanged a few emails, and then nothing. Now ordinarily I would just brush it off but it seemed odd. I have never followed up with him, but he keeps looking at my profile about once a week, so its unclear what happened or what he is thinking. I figure I will leave well enough alone, I think I made it clear I would like to hang out with him again but he just does not seem to be all that terribly interested. C'est la vie.

Foot Boy.

The same weekend that Cuban boy and the girl from Ohio revealed itself I had already arranged to meet up with a couple of fellas who had been kind enough to invite me out and given that prior to my new knowledge the Cuban had been acting weird I happily accepted. I double booked one for coffee the other for drinks in the evening. My coffee date had suggested Four Barrel in the Mission and harpygirl warned me to expect a hipster boy. We had exchanged a couple of messages, but as per usual I like to just meet people and see if there is any connection. He seemed cool, recent move from L.A. originally from Maryland about the same age, loads in common, interesting etc.

We met for coffee, however, only after several text messages regarding his tardiness resulting from BART delays. He was swoon worthy, more so than any of the pictures would indicate. Tall. Dark. Handsome. Cute glasses. Well dressed. Very complimentary to me. Touchy, as in touch my neck etc...our date went well and then sort of abruptly ended because he had made plans with friends.

Alas he walked me to my car and before I even go to the stoplight he had texted me asking me for a second date. :) I was stoked especially in light of the recent Cuban debacle. We made plans for the following Friday. Throughout the week I heard form him daily texting back and forth and the anticipation for our second date increased. We made plans to meet for Burmese and then play it by ear.

We met at the restaurant, had a lovely leisurely meal. I mentioned the meteor shower was going on and after we drove to Ocean Beach to see if we could see anything, but it was too foggy. So instead we walked along the beach and enjoyed the last vestiges of the bonfires. We headed back to my place and sat up talking and having wine. He left at 3am. I was over the moon, until we got to the door, and I got a hug, no kiss, no even weird awkward move in for the kiss. Nothing. Then nothing. No text the next day nothing. I gave him three and then not mad but more befuddled I sent him an email kind of asking what happened.

Below is the message I got back.....

I did not want to say it but I am a pretty kinky guy and it seems like you are not into that at all. However, I do find you to be a very smart, well cultured, and cool lady and if you want to be friends I am more than down to be a new friend in SF. Hope all is well!

LOL was my response. Now not to toot my own horn but obviously this guy had no idea about me. I mean despite my dating information etc he made some pretty HUGE assumptions. I was just fairly happy to have a response and was happy to be just friends. The following weekend was his birthday and I wanted out of town so we went to Bodega Bay for the day. Sat at beach shared a bottle wine, some homemade cheesecakes, had dinner etc. It was a lovely day...until I changed into my flip flops. See his kinky was a foot fetish, and well apparently I have adorable feet. We ended up back at my place and this time I got my kiss and a whole lot more, but no sex, which was fine by me.

Things seemed to be fine, regular texting, hanging out, movies, wine, coffee, no physical interaction. It still seemed weird though it was like we were a hybrid not really dating but not not dating. I could not figure it out and was happily hanging out with lots of other guys....until....

Foot boy had mentioned a band he liked. I looked them up dug their music and saw they were coming to SF. I mentioned it in passing text to him, he then asked if he could come with me. I happily agreed, and in the next few weeks we made plans to meet etc....

Then, two hours before said show he calls me to tell me he is going to the show with someone else but he cant wait to hang out and see me there. This AFTER I had purchased TWO tickets and he had agreed to pay me back. I did not know what to say on the phone and acted ok and hung up. I was not ok. Not because I was upset he wanted to take someone else. Upset to be left hanging two hours before in a City where friends are scant right now, and no real options. I did not see myself as an awkward third wheel and did not feel like going alone and then attempting to avoid him.

I sent an email and a text explaining that his behaviour was not ok. He should have been honest owed me no explanations but should not have made plans with me if he intended to bring someone else, blah blah blah. He replied he was sorry, wanted to pay me back and well that he was sorry for any confusion. That pretty much pissed me off more and I told him that he should maybe not contact me anymore.

I am an open and honest friend and expect the same in return he did not seem to get that I was not upset over some other broad he liked but rather that he lacked the balls to mention anytime before the night of the show.

*Sighs* Trust me readers it does get better as in less douches and more awesome dudes.

The Worst Sex Ever?

I am interrupting the regularly scheduled blog regarding my first dates post-the Cuban to write about my most recent fella.

The Ginger as he shall be annointed is an associate producer for a video game company, fairly recently divorced after 13 years of marriage, but was with the ex really from high school going forward. He's a midwestern transplant to the City. While ordinarily I am not attracted to gingers or to shorter guys (he's only about 5'7") I figured why not and accepted his invitation for dinner. We had made plans to go to Monk's Kettle on a Tuesday evening, but when we arrived it was about an hour wait. The thought of standing with a basic total stranger for an hour AND then eating a meal was a bit much to handle. So instead we walked up Valencia, and ended up at Fritz which is a Belgian style fries place. We had beer, fries, and shared a sandwich, it was a good time. We laughed a lot, had a lot in common, he was cute. I did not feel an instant chemistry or anything, but I had fun. At the end of the meal we decided to head across the street for a cocktail at the Elbo Room. One cocktail turned into two and before I knew it it was 2am. He walked me to my car, we hugged and said farewell. The next day he sent an email with the whole I had a great time....blah, blah, blah.

I decided that even though I did not know whether I was terribly interested in him a romantic way it was worth a second day. My schedule (both social and professional) has been full so it took us a bit to work out a time we could meet but a Sunday evening worked for us both. It would be post an board game meet-up I was going to (hey distractionbike if you're reading!) I ended up having a great time at the meet-up, and the ginger suggested we change the restuarant which is in the Castro because it was Hardly Strictly AND the Castro Street Fair. He suggested a place in Noe Valley which happened to be within walking of where I was so I agreed! We met for dinner, again had a lovely meal, great conversation, went to post dinner drinks (there was some smooching) and then we walked to my car and I gave him a ride home.

Despite the smooches, I think I was still a bit unsure where I was at. I know that I had fun, he was a good kisser, cute, kind, funny, thought I was cute and funny, etc...we were chatting everyday etc, and I certainly found myself liking him more and more. The following week I was checking out harpygirl and hte boy with the guitar at a cafe in Bernal and decided I would hit Ocean Beach afterward. The weather has been simply dreamy in the City. I was chatting with the ginger and mentioned it and he said he wanted ot join me, would meet me at cafe. I was happy, so surely that means I like him! He met me round 10, we drove to beach sat, chatted, smooched, did some star gazing all seemed to be going well. We made plans for Saturday night, a picnic or something.

Saturday I drove back from Sacramento, hurriedly showered etc, and we made plans for him to come to my place and we would head out to watch the sunset (cliche I know, but also a classic, its a cliche for a reason people!). He made it over and we were off, went out to Sutro Baths watched sunset, had burmese at a place on Clement (Pagan) and then back to my place. Opened a fantastic bottle of wine (gary farrell pinot) and then there were lot of smooches. Which led from one thing to another, which brings me to the title of this post.

Seriously it was awful, worse than high school. It lasted less than a minute, no technique, argh! Unfortunately its a deal breaker for me. Now I get he is not super experienced what with the long term marriage etc, but really??? I am hoping its been awhile or something....something....anything! So now its a little awkward because obviously he was aware that it was a less than stellar performance. He spent the night which was nice to be cuddled etc, but well, not sure what to do now. I think I will see him again, and maybe give things another go, but I am far less clear on where I stand now. Sighs. After this I think I may be due a little break from the dating bonanza which I have been engaged.

Argh. I guess the whole you have to kiss a lot of frogs addage reins true.